


Do Not Tell Me

by RunawayTyJo



Category: Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-04
Updated: 2019-05-04
Packaged: 2020-02-18 15:12:24
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,408
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18702121
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RunawayTyJo/pseuds/RunawayTyJo
Summary: I saw a text post on Instagram and decided to make a little fanfic shortstory out of it. WARNING, this is pretty sad. But yeahTyler Joseph is a 17 year old boy who Killed himself. His family and Friends reactions, shocked. Terrified. Hurt. Lonely, and Heartbroken.How do they move on?





	Do Not Tell Me

TRIGGER WARNINGS: Too many to fucking count. This is going to make you cry. It has gore, suicide, and just general terrible topics. But the message is important so I highly suggest reading it. 

 

If you're up for the challenge, turn this on while you are reading.

[Music](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PVA9hl9cDD4)

Thanks for reading. 

\--

It's been 5 days. 

Five days since Tyler died. 

And nobody wanted to admit it. 

Nobody wanted to say that phrase 

_Tyler is Dead._

And nobody has said it yet. And they probably never will. 

Pete, Brendon, Dallon, Josh, Gerard and Patrick sat huddled around their sacred lunch table; sitting in the exact same seats at the exact same table since the 4th grade. But one seat was empty. 

Tyler's seat. 

It hit everyone like a bullet; that day. 

And all they could do is sit at their lunch table as their food grew cold watching the empty seat in silence. The boys stared blankly at the empty chair that once held their rambunctious friend, who they didn't realize was the one that made them all laugh and forget the stress of High School for at least 15 minutes. The one who would make sure they ate, who would make sure that they had good grades- who made sure they were  _happy._

But now they weren't. 

Because the person they loved most was dead. 

Days went by and the same routine repeated itself; sit and stare blankly wishing for the sassy boy they took for granted to just come back, even if it was for 15 minutes. 

"We never got to say goodbye," Brendon squeaked, breaking the silence. Dallon looked over as the bags under his eyes grew darker minute by minute. None of them had slept since that day. None of them could. Brendons shoulders start shaking violently as he is the first one to give in to the sadness, the first one to let it out. 

Tyler was dead. 

And they believed it was their faults. 

Dallon rubbed the small of Brendon's back as he sobbed, giving in as well and letting the tears stream down his cheeks silently. 

All of them savored the echo of Tyler's laugh as they gave in to the inevitable silence of heartbreak. 

\--

Zack Joseph was only 13 when he found his brother sprawled on the bathroom floor, blood soaking his shirt and hair as he laid in the giant puddle. Tyler's eyes were wide open, staring at the ceiling as his beautiful deep brown eyes lost their color. Zack was the one to find Tyler dead. Zack was the one to scream and shriek until his mother came upstairs. Zack was the one who found the note, the blade. 

Zack was the most damaged of them all. 

Because no matter how many fights, how many arguments and "I hate you"s, Zack loved Tyler. He looked up to him. And he fucking missed his amazing older brother. 

Yeah, they fought, and screamed, and never got along- but Zack will regret every fight for his remaining years- because he never got to see his brother grow up and get married or become the musician he aspired to be. He never got to do any of it. 

Because Tyler was dead and the silence filled the classroom as Zack came back into focus. 

"Alright class, today we are going to be talking about Music theory and the piano." The teacher echoed, changing the slide. Zack's eyes went wide as the sound of Tyler playing his heart wrenching melodies that should have been  _signs_ filled his damaged heart. Zack fumbled around, trying to make it to the counselors office before he fell apart. But it was too late. Zack fell to his knees and gripped his hair as he shook violently. His sobs echoed off the walls as the teacher attempted to calm him, to ease his pain. But it didn't work. Zack wanted Tyler, and  _only_ Tyler. He wanted Tyler to sing him to sleep like he usually did when Zack was terrified of the night, because Tyler loved the piano more than anyone. Tyler promised to teach Zack to play the piano, and Zack refused to learn music theory from anyone else other than the older brother he refused to admit he idolized since day one. That's why Zack was crying, shaking and screaming; because that promise shattered the day Tyler went to the bathroom and never came out again.

He was also crying because throughout the fighting, the shouting, and the wrestling Zack never got to say the one thing he always meant. 

"I love you" 

He didn't even get to say goodbye to the older brother who would fight off anyone who tried to harm Zack in a heartbeat. 

Zack remembered the time when Tyler was 10 and zack was 7, when older boys shoved down Zack and stole his toys. tyler was there within seconds, and he punched the 12 year old straight in the mouth and retrieved Zacks toy. Tyler helped him up and glared at the bully before taking Zack behind him with pride. 

"Never hit _my_ brother again, asshole." 

Zack never got to pay it back.

Momma told Zack that Tyler knew, that Tyler knew Zack loved him even if he ignored his birthday and screamed terrible curses at him for the simplest things. Even when he wished Tyler dead, Tyler knew that Zack loved him and he loved him back with all his heart. But if Tyler knew he wouldn't have felt that alone and thinking that he was better off dead. If Tyler knew that Zack loved him and idolized him, well, Zack would be learning music theory right now instead of having a panic attack on the floor of his classroom. 

So Zack wailed louder. 

\--

Kelly walked into the bathroom with lips trembling.  _That_ bathroom. Tyler's bathroom. Kelly took a deep sigh as she stared at herself in the foggy mirror. Her eyes red and puffy, as her face hollowed out from days and days of not eating due to loosing her eldest son. She hadn't gotten out of bed in days. Her beautiful, talented son that she would pick up after he fell off his bike. Who she would cheer for at his basketball games as he sprinted across the gym floor. The boy she would tease and wake up every morning to a giant smile. When Tyler was just a baby, he would wake up and bounce around in his crib giggling and smiling. Kelly and Chris would leave him, because he just looked so happy and excited for something as simple as being awake. Kelly let the tears fall now, hitting the counter with a splat as she looked down at the only thing that sat on the vacant counter. 

A bloody razor blade. 

No one could bring themselves to wash it off. While they hired cleaners to clean the floor, they just couldn't wash the blade. The blade responsible for taking her pride and joy. God, she wishes it was her instead. 

Kelly thought back to the day Tyler was born, the day she held him and cried because oh- this boy was going places. She told herself that if she could raise him right, well, the world would get a shining star. And when Tyler said he wanted to sing, Kelly was ecstatic. Her shining star. She was excited for the days he would be selling out arenas and selling CDs by the million and she could point at him and say "I raised him. I raised that boy." 

But that day never came. 

Because Kelly had walked into that hospital that thundering night, and walked out with a casket instead of her boy. Kelly screamed and slammed down on the counter as she stared at the mirror. It was thundering that night, because god was crying. He took her angel away from her. Her giggling, sassy, sarcastic musician. 

Kelly sniveled and looked up at the buzzing light on the bathroom ceiling. The last thing Tyler saw. 

"Oh yeah, I believe in love~" 

Kelly closed her eyes and the echo of her son's voice wrapped around her heart. 

"But I hope, I can show you what I mean..." 

Kelly looked down. 

"Cuz I don't believe loves for me..." 

She inhaled the bleach that stained the air before sitting on the floor. She remembered that night clearly, she will never forget. She heard Zack screaming hysterically so she sprinted up the stairs and was greeted by her biggest heartbreak. The ambulance came and she never let go of her sons hand even after he went pale and lost his light. She knew he was dead from the moment she saw him, and that he had been dead for minutes. But she couldn't bring herself to admit it. Not Tyler Joseph, the star basketball player who had a talent for singing. The boy the whole neighborhood loved. So why? 

Kelly ran into that hospital following the stretcher that wheeled off her first born, her rock in the darkness. 

And she came out with a casket. 

The whole neighborhood showed up to the funeral as Chris and Tyler's friends lowered Tyler's casket into the local graveyard. Kelly sniffled as she gripped her three remaining children as tight as she fucking could, but she couldn't stop herself from thinking. She failed as a mother. As a protector. She broke her vow she made on December 1st, 1988. And she was going to pay for it. If she couldn't parent Tyler correctly, what gave her the right to Parent Maddy Zack and Jay? 

Nothing did. She didn't deserve it. So she closed her eyes and listened to the neighborhoods wails as the dirt was being poured onto Tyler. 

"So won't you come around and prove me wrong..." 

\--

Chris yawned as he scrubbed the diner floor. He turned and viewed the clock; 3:45 AM. He sighed and went back to work, the slick floor shining and revealing his reflection. He looked sick. He hadn't slept in days. Chris sat down at an empty Diner table and leaned back. 

Chris had started taking the night shift to avoid the silence of the house. The quiet always came when he lay at night. And it tortured him. 

Chris would rather work all night instead of wish for the echo from Tyler's room at 3 AM of him gossiping on the phone with his friends about how in love with Josh he was. Chris remembers the day Tyler came out, and how him and Kelly were so proud of him and excited for him to find his soulmate. Tyler had cried, scared that they wouldn't love him anymore because it was against their religion. That had broken Kelly and Chris's heart. Because they had known for a while, because they heard Tyler at 3 AM gossiping about Josh. Kelly and Chris would press against the bedroom wall and listen in, excited about how happy their son was fawning over the boy he talked about and just his words made him sound like the most amazing boy ever. It hurt that Tyler would ever think they would love him any less, but all they could do was hug him and encourage him. 

But apparently hugs weren't enough when Tyler came home beaten and bloody with the word Faggot spray painted across his backpack. 

They tried. They tried so fucking hard. Tyler didn't deserve that, they sat outside his door talking for hours. They let Tyler skip school, and tried to get him to eat but he just wouldn't. Maddy cried because she was so scared, she saw what happened to Tyler at school and had screamed and cried. But the homophobic boys wouldn't stop hitting her older brother as he screamed for help. 

Chris had stormed into the school the next day demanding justice, but once he noticed the principal was one of the boys' fathers, well Chris had to go home empty handed and infuriated. 

Chris took the night shift because he couldn't stand not hearing Tyler talk about the love of his life. He just couldn't. 

At least the work would get his mind off of it. 

The fact that Chris failed to protect the son that he was so, so proud of. 

\--

Josh shuffled into Tyler's bedroom and looked around. 

5 weeks. 

He was forgetting what Tyler sounded like, looked like, and he would have none of that.  So he went into Tyler's room as his boyfriend. Josh loved him so much, he was there to support him through anything. Josh lightly grazed the desktop as he inspected the bulletin board showered in photos and memories. Photos of Josh and Tyler, and his friends, his basketball team, everything. Josh laughed as silent tears fell down his face as he grabbed one of the photos off the wall. It was him and Tyler, standing in front of Taco Bell the day of the pride parade. They were covered in head to toe in rainbow, and Josh had picked up Tyler bridal styler and kissed his cheek as Tyler flushed bright red in surprise. 

He loved Tyler so much. 

And he was gone. 

Josh sighed and put the photo back on the wall, refusing to pocket it. He looked up at the shelf of trophies and awards for music and basketball combined. But finally, he looked at the bed that had Tyler's sweatshirt laying on top of it gently untouched. Josh walked over to it. It hadn't been moved. It was the sweatshirt that Tyler had worn the day of his suicide before he killed himself that night. He wore it to school. Tyler was the one who set it there. Tyler was the last one to touch it. Josh bent over and picked it up, shoving his face into it as he took in the scent that he loved so dearly. He smelled of the pine trees and watermelons, and when Tyler was alive Josh couldn't get enough of it. He forgot Tyler smelled like that, he forgot Tyler smiled at Josh like he was the oxygen that he needed to survive. Josh gripped the sweatshirt tighter as he screamed into it, the familiar scent bringing back everything he was starting to forget about Tyler. His beauty, his love for him, and how Josh thrived to protect him. The day Tyler's teammates attacked him for kissing Josh in the hall, the ultimate betrayal from the kids Tyler grew up with. Josh went to their houses and smashed in their windows with a baseball bat before beating them all to a pulp. Josh had gotten arrested for it, but he didn't care. They hurt Tyler, so he hurt them. 

But it wasn't enough. 

Josh screamed again as tears soaked the mustard colored sweatshirt, the watermelon pine tree scent filling Josh's brain. Because as much as Tyler needed him, Josh needed Tyler. Josh lost his life support. But he refused to disappear like Tyler. He refused to be so petty and heartbreaking. 

So instead he was going to live on the rest of his miserable life knowing that he lost his soulmate. The only one Josh was truly comfortable around, the only place he felt at home. Josh fell asleep on Tyler's bed, breathing through Tyler's pillow as his mind played the trick of echoing Tyler singing him to sleep. 

And so he slept, and he dreamed about Tyler. 

And for a second, he was happy again. 

\--

Patrick couldn't breathe. 

He actually couldn't fucking breath as he stared at the other side of the gym. 

The principal had called in an emergency assembly of both the high and middle school, the students crowding around the bleachers as they awaited patiently. When the principal walked in followed by a crying Joseph family, Patrick's breath stopped. 

Tyler wasn't at school that day. 

Or the day before. 

Or the day before that. 

Patrick let the stray tear fall as that painful phrase echoed through the microphone. 

The principal called everyone to silence, but the room was already silent the minute they walked in. Everyone already knew. 

Jenna was already wailing. 

But Patrick, Patrick couldn't breathe. The sound of his heartbeat filled his ears as he tuned out everything the principal said except for 4 words. 

"Tyler Joseph is dead." 

\-- 

Dallon sat in the gymnasium staring at the wall as he gripped Brendon's hand. He cringed as Josh let out a gut wrenching scream from next to them, falling to the bottom of the bleachers as Pete rushed to support him. The principals words wouldn't stop repeated in Dallon's head, and Dallon choked on his own spit. This had to be one of Tyler's terrible jokes that somehow made them all laugh even though it was crude humor. Tyler could make anyone laugh, so why the fuck would he think this was funny? Dallon was waiting for Tyler to jump out from the boys locker room and startle them all, and Dallon would slap him for scaring the living shit out of everyone. 

But that moment never came. 

Because this wasn't a sick prank. It was reality. And the longer Dallon sat listening to Josh's deafening heartbreaking cries, the more he realized Tyler wasn't coming back. Tyler was gone. The Tyler Dallon cherished. 

And when it finally sank in, Dallon was screaming too. 

\--

For everyone involved, the whole world had stopped that day. The seasons stopped changing, the stars stopped glowing. The flowers never stopped coming on the newly made grave, as the neighborhood tried to deal with the loss of a truly bright kid. But Tyler, what was going through his head? Well, 

that day Tyler had been shoved and kicked for holding Josh's hand once he turned the corner and left Tyler alone unknowingly. Josh had been arrested on Tyler's behalf, and Tyler would never allow that to happen again. So he hid everything from Josh. Everything. That night, Tyler laid on his bed as the voices screamed and pulled and taunted him. The razor blade shined in his palm as he stared down at it. 

**_Do it._   
**

**_Those boys are right._ **

**_Josh doesn't love you._ **

**_No one would notice._ **

**_You're a burden to your family._ **

**_You make the school look bad._ **

**_Nobody knows who you are._ **

_**Do the world a favor and fucking disappear.** _

_**Do Josh a favor.** _

_**Join us.** _

****Tyler sobbed as he held the blade tighter, the voices screaming louder, his heartbeat getting faster. He stumbled into the bathroom and looked in the mirror as he sobbed louder. He looked down at the blade in his hand and took in a deep breath. He lightly pressed it against his vein, not enough to cut though. He breathed in and out, trying to calm himself down.

_**From the day you were born you were a burden on your family and neighborhood you stupid fag.** _

"SHUT UP!!" Tyler shrieked, looking down as he noticed his arm was starting to feel wet. 

Tyler gasped. When he screamed, he didn't notice he had pressed down and sliced. Deep. Tyler watched in agony as he toppled over, feeling lightheaded. The blade had dropped from his hand. He tried to scream but he was too weak. Tyler didn't want to die. He didn't want to fucking die. 

In his final breath, the voices went silent, and Tyler noticed that it was all in his head. 

People loved him. 

And he died thinking of the life he didn't get to live. 

A love note to Josh that Tyler had written at school fell out of his pocket as his hand fell into the sticky puddle that was soaking through his hair and T-shirt. 

5 minutes later, there was a knock on the bathroom door. 

"Tyler? I gotta pee." Zack whispered. 

\--

Now you might be wondering why I wrote this. Well, its really fucking sad but this is the truth about Suicide. This is how it ends, for everyone. The world stops spinning and the seasons stop changing and the stars stop shining. You have a purpose. You are meant to make the world a better place. If you take yourself out, well, nothing good happens like you think it might. This is what will happen. You are loved, as much as you might refuse to think it. We love you. I love you. Stay Alive, because it's worth it. 

I'm sorry if I made you cry, but the message is important.

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> I'm sorry for writing such a depressing story. And I'm sorry for writing about Suicide. But the message was clear: Don't do it. You're amazing. If you are struggling, feel free to message us on Instagram @clique.cult we would be happy to help you. Tell us that you saw our AO3 story, and that you would like to talk. Anytime, there are many of us. Stay Alive, it is worth it. 
> 
> We love you.   
> -B and Z


End file.
